I don’t know

I was reading an article the other day about five phrases every pastor's family should know. (You can read it at www.lifeway.com/article/?id=162991&CID=PastorsToday-emailCRD20091123-ministers-family) They were all good, and I may talk about some others another time, but the one that hit me tonight was "I don't know."

I have no problem saying "I don't know." Here is what the article was talking about. You're at church and someone asks what the children are supposed to wear when they sing that evening. You have no children involved and are not involved yourself, but you are somehow supposed to know this because you are the pastor's wife. You're at home when the phone rings and someone wants to know whether or not the church has any crystal candlesticks and how many. You have no idea, but you are supposed to because you are the pastor's wife. And how about this... You in Sunday school and someone remembers an interesting passage they once read in the Bible. They ask you where to find it. You have heard of the passage, but have not idea where it is, but you are supposed to because you are the pastor's wife.

I remember when it finally dawned on a friend of mine that just because I was the pastor's wife I didn't know everything that was going on in the church. She had asked me something one day and I didn't know. She asked me something else another day and I didn't know. Seems like not long after, she again asked me a question about something going on in church and I couldn't answer it. "You really are out of the loop, aren't you?" she asked jokingly. We still joke about it and sometimes she'll start to ask me something and then say, "Oh, you probably don't know."

Sometimes as pastor's wives, we're expected to not only be in the loop but know where the loop is, what color it is and how it works. And I do believe that as the pastor's wife I should have a decent knowledge of our church and what is going on in it. But as to knowing every detail about everything, well, that's just not going to happen. In smaller churches this is expected even more. If you're at a really big church, there is no way you can know everything. But even at a smaller church, just because you are the pastor's wife you shouldn't be expected to be the answer queen.

It really is ok to not know everything. And it is ok to admit it. If I'm at church and someone asks me a question I don't know, I'll do my best to find someone who can help them. But some are surprised when I don't know. And they are even more surprised when my husband doesn't know, and even he doesn't sometimes.

Admitting I don't know everything, or even much of anything,

Pam

 1 Comments posted by: Pam Cassady on January 12th, 2010