Anger itself is not bad. God has given this strong emotion to help us in several important areas of life: to recognize injustice, to right what is wrong, to repair what is broken or damaged in relationships, for purposes of self-examination and reflection to promote growth and maturity in our faith, as well as to better understand who we are and how we are to live in comparison with the life of Jesus Christ.
The problem lies with our failure to reflect and respond to what is the source of our anger. Instead often we react on impulse and without any thought. We take action without using our brains to understand what we are experiencing and why. This usually allows no room for the Holy Spirit to teach us and transform us. It is helpful to begin by acknowledging the anger we feel. It is not helpful to deny or dismiss our anger without reflection.
Start to consider the source of the anger. Where is the anger coming from? Are you angry with someone or about something? What is the anger about for you? Have you ever felt like this before? When was it? What was happening to you? These are some questions that might help you explore your own anger.
Then you can begin to explore options for dealing with the anger. Choose a productive option. You may want to review your past patterns for dealing with anger. Are there any helpful patterns? Are there any destructive patterns? Avoid reactive patterns, explosive patterns, quietly seething, keeping an account or score, patterns of cutting off others in relationship or simply “swallowing” your anger by ignoring it.
Allow your anger to inform you and then allow God to use this understanding to grow you personally, spiritually, and relationally. If dealing with your own anger continues to be difficult and causes you problems in relationship, considering seeking the help and guidance of your pastor or spiritual mentor.