Dave Carder uses a tool in his marital recovery work with couples called the “Marital Satisfaction Time Line.” This tool allows a couple to create a time line of their marriage history. Each spouse creates one.

The longer the couple has been married the longer and more detailed the time line will be. The goal is honest sharing. The time line starts from the beginning of the marriage.

Any and all significant events in the marriage are recorded. The emotional impact of the events are noted. Events are rated for high or low marital satisfaction.

Once each time line is completed, they will take turns sharing. When the wife or husband is sharing, the task of the spouse is to listen and receive what is shared.

Much insight can be gained from this activity. Spouses may not interpret an event the same. It is helpful to know if one spouse experienced a stronger emotional impact from an event. Some events may not be included in one partner’s time line.

It is useful to discuss where on the time lines marital satisfaction is high or low for both and where it is high for one and low for the other or vice versa. This is not an exercise to try to persuade your spouse to see a marital event in the same way as you. It is an exercise designed to learn about your marriage and when and why satisfaction is higher at some points.

With this knowledge and understanding, the two of you can work toward improving your marital satisfaction. Toward the beginning of the marriage, high marital satisfaction is expected. Remembering these early feelings and how the couple created them is needed. Daily struggles can severely challenge a marriage.

God’s instruction for His people models the value of recalling important events to recognize how God has provided, sustained, loved, saved, and promised a future. For our marriages, it is vital to remember how we loved, cared for, attended to, encouraged, romanced, blessed, and cherished each other in order to ensure a future together.